I say the dumbest things

Kids don't have the market on saying dumb things. I work in long term disability. When I first began working, whenever I was introducing myself to a client, I would always say, "Hi, I work with your long distance carrier. I mean, your long term disability carrier."

Another example. I was talking to a friend once and we were discussing elderly people. I was trying to make a point, so I exclaimed, "Do you know how many dead people die?" Ahem.

I come by it naturally. My dad has difficulty with the English language on occasion. Imagine this scene. My dad calls me at work one day to let me know that they have lost an important card for my mom. She had gotten a pacemaker and had to have a medical card with her at all times. So he wanted me to call the company and ask for another. When I asked him for the phone number, he replied, "It's 1-800-CATARACT." Huh? He said that's exactly what it said, "1-800-CATARACT." I asked him to spell it for me. "1-8-0-0-C-A-R-D-I-A-C." Ohhh, funny.

But, my all time favorite happened several years ago. When one of my nephews was younger, he followed my dad everywhere. On this particular occasion, he and dad were in the backyard messing in the garden. Ryan came in the house muttering the same phrase over and over, "Get down down there. Get down down there." My sister-in-law asked him what he was saying. He said he's just repeating what Papaw says whenever Ryan gets in the garden. My SIL very seriously asked, "Ryan, do you know why Papaw talks like he does?" And Ryan, just as seriously, replied, "Yes, it's because he's Chinese." Hahahaha! Since that time, whenever dad says something that we can't understand, we'll ask him to stop speaking Chinese and speak English.